Juggling Fire - Reflections on Self Publishing

It's been nearly two years since I committed to the idea of publishing my first novel. The story behind that decision is one I'll probably tell at some point but for the purposes of this post, I want to focus on what the self publishing experience has been like for me as I approach the end of my marketing efforts for my second novel, and prepare to begin work on something new.

In truth, I've been self publishing for much longer than two years. From the multiple incarnations of this blog, to indie music releases, to a handful of video game projects, to releasing content on several YouTube channels, plus live streaming on Twitch, I've never been shy about putting my creative works out there and making the most out of the self-publishing tools and platforms available to me.

That said, there is something a bit different about book publishing. For one thing, it takes considerably more time and effort to write, edit, publish, and market a novel than some of the other things I mentioned. Of course, recording, mixing, mastering, distributing, and marketing an album is no joke either, not to mention the borderline nightmarish to-do list associated with publishing a video game, or other complex piece of software. Still, there is something particularly intense about self publishing books.

To an extent, I think it comes down to two related factors:

1. The time investment required versus the statistical likelihood of a return on that investment, be it monetary or some other form of fulfillment.
2. Facing broad competition on a mostly-level playing field.

In the first case, when you look at the time investment versus the likelihood of success of self publishing a book compared to other creative endeavors, I'd argue that the ratio is, at least on paper, the least favorable for the content creator. You could quite literally spend months (or years) writing a spectacular novel of a given type but if any other aspect of the process falters, editing or marketing for example, your project will almost certainly be doomed to obscurity.

Perhaps even more daunting is the full comprehension of the second premise. It's more than a little intimidating to start, much less finish, a novel-length writing project knowing that there are literally thousands of other people, who may have a similar or even superior set of skills and experience, simultaneously doing the same.

In the worlds of music, or computer programming for example, there's a certain skill gap that prevents many people from even attempting to create software, a video game, a song, or an album. Even in less technically-demanding venues like YouTube and Twitch, there are still skills and levels of commitment that tend to organically separate content creators into tiers. Additionally, the visual nature of those platforms often make those distinctions obvious at a glance.

Of course, there's a similar effect in the world of books when it comes to potential readers browsing cover art and book jackets to see what catches their eye; however, with the sea of new titles being constantly released, the odds are definitely stacked against anyone self publishing, even with a solid marketing strategy.

So, why bother? Why even attempt to self publish a book, much less two in the span of two years, when statistically, the odds of success are so low?

I suspect that the answers to this question may well vary significantly from person to person but for me, it boils down to a couple key principles:

First and foremost, I have an inherently strong desire to create things. At the end of the day, that's just the way I'm wired and as I've aged, I've felt compelled to push the boundaries of my creativity, attempting to find the limits of my various abilities. Music production and video game development in particular have proven to be very useful experiences in that regard as they've both allowed me to grow and refine skills, while simultaneously learning important lessons about my creative limits, and the value of working with other talented, creative people to fill in those gaps when necessary.

Beyond that, I'm a firm believer in the idea of choosing the right artistic medium for what I'm trying to express, regardless of any financial considerations. If I can make a point in a few words, a simple tweet might suffice. If I want to show the raw, unfiltered experience of playing a video game for the first time, a three-hour Twitch stream might be necessary. Along those lines, if I want to tell an intricate, extensive story, a novel is simply what's required.

It's fair to say that I've taken some rather significant financial hits over the years for the sake of my creative efforts. In truth, I've only ever lost money, often quite a bit of it, by pursuing my artistic leanings. Thus, I'll absolutely echo here what many other content creators have said in that regard. Self publishing is generally not a path to financial security. For every financially-successful, self-employed content creator, there are literally thousands of others working one or more day jobs, dipping into savings, or relying on some form of investment to absorb the expenses incurred by their efforts. Casual observers often assume that these folks simply "aren't good enough" to "make it" but the hard truth of content creation is that we do not exist in a meritocracy and there are far too many hard-working, extremely-talented content creators languishing in obscurity as I write this for me to believe otherwise.

Having said that, I remain committed to the notion that creativity is its own reward. Even with my limited commercial success as a novelist to this point, the sense of personal satisfaction that I've attained, combined with the glorious sensations I experience when interacting with fans of my work, conspire to fuel my creative fire.

The trick of course in dealing with fire is to handle it carefully and responsibly, particularly when juggling it.